We all have a personality trait. There are many books written about it. Most of us put our personality in one of two categories. You are either an extrovert or an introvert.

In this blog, I’m focusing on introverts simply because I am one of them.

I was reading about different personalities, and this one caught me a little off guard because I have a little bit of all these traits.

Introverts can be put into four different categories. Although there are some traits that are found in all four, I will go through the four traits so that if you’re an introvert or even an extrovert, you can identify which introvert you are or which introvert your loved one or friend is.There are Social, Thinking, Anxious, and Restrained introverts.

First of all, we need to understand what an introvert is. Introverts enjoy being by themselves. They love the quiet. They recharge by spending time alone. They thrive in small groups of loved ones or close friends. They will try to avoid parties and large groups of people.

Social introvert: Prefers small gatherings with close friends or family. Enjoys one-on-one conversations. Enjoys solitary games, like puzzles or word games. They feel drained after social activities and prefer to text or email to communicate.

Thinking introvert: They are the daydreamers. It keeps them from feeling overwhelmed. Deep thinkers. Highly self-aware. Often get lost in thought during conversations. Get overwhelmed in fast-paced discussions.

Anxious introvert: They feel self-conscious before and during social events. Dread social interaction. Overanalyze past social encounters. Very hesitant to approach new people.

Restrained introvert: They prefer to observe the group(s) before participating. Need time to feel comfortable in a new group. Need time to warm up to people. Dislike being put on the spot. They are very deep thinkers, very methodical and slow in decision-making. They are routine-oriented and predictable. Prefer planned events over last-minute invitations.

Are you an introvert? Which one of the four fits you the best?

For myself, I identify with the Restrained Introvert. Although I have many traits of the others, as I’m sure you will too.

My wife is an extrovert. She is the exact opposite of what I am, and as you can expect, sometimes we clash. How do we handle those times?

As an introvert, you have to understand what an extrovert needs and wants. You have to be willing to get out of your cozy cave and be a part of their world. That’s not to say that the extrovert doesn’t have any work to do either. An extrovert has to understand an introvert. They need to help prepare an introvert to get out of their cave by giving them plenty of time, encouragement, and allowing them to digest what’s coming up, rather than springing it on them.

Our marriage works because we are both looking out for one another. We both have learned to put our own needs behind our partners’ needs. My wife knows that any major decision I make has been well thought out ahead of time, weighing the many pros and cons of that decision. She knows that a spur of the moment decision will not be made, so its discussed well inadvance. I know that my wife thrives on social interactions, so I try hard to be social and interact with the people she interacts with. I have to prepare myself ahead of time and be cheerful and happy, eventhough, I would rather be back in my cozy cave.

My wife and I are so different in many ways, but in that difference, we have also made each other more well-rounded individuals.

I have had friends and even family ask, “How did you two ever meet?” There is only one answer to this question: Through God’s grace. Only God can put together a couple that is so different from one another, like us. We are not special by any means. God knows us best and who we are as individuals. He also knew, what each of us needed to be strong in the work he wanted us to do for Him. Gods design was putting us both together to give strength to our weaknesses.

God does not make mistakes. He put us together for a reason, just like He has done for countless other marriages.

I don’t believe there is such a thing as a perfect marriage, simply because of sin. Our marriage has had its problems, as any marriage does. The difference is both people understanding each other, putting yourself on a shelf for a moment to see a different perspective. When you can do that, the mountain you thought was there is really only a tiny hill that can be easily crossed.