Recently, I attended a friend’s wedding. I always like going to weddings (the ceremony part anyway). I’m an introvert, so at the reception, I either won’t go or spend very little time there. As I sat and witnessed the marriage, I thought about how much joy and how much in love the two people are. Two people coming together and making a family.

I reflected on my own marriage, from the day my wife and I said “I do” to the moment we watched our friends say “I do.” I’ve been married now for 31 years and am still very much in love with my wife. She knows me like a favorite book and has read every page over and over again. I have also been on the other side of marriage too—the side that ends in divorce. The ugliness of it. The friends you thought you had now either take sides or won’t even speak with you again. The hurt, the mistrust, all the devastation that happens. Your dreams and plans are shattered.

Divorce, unfortunately, happens way too often, even to Christians. When two people are so much in love at the beginning, what makes them do a complete turnaround and run from each other? I’ve heard comments like they were never really in love in the first place, or that the man (or woman) finally showed their true colors, etc. Personally, while some of that may be true, I think that most couples are very much in love with the idea of being in love. You’re saying, “What?” Understand that “love” is an emotion, and like any emotion, it can change minute by minute. True love is not an emotion and will not change. What is true love?

True unemotional love is always being available, even though you would rather be doing something else. It’s being forgiving, even though you have been deeply hurt. True love is understanding when you don’t understand. True love is always faithful, caring, long-tempered, compromising, and not competitive. True love has nothing to do with how you feel. True love should grow deeper and deeper the more time you spend getting to know your partner. It’s forgetting about yourself and giving every ounce you have to please your partner. When your partner does the same, an unbreakable bond forms because your wants and needs are being met by your partner, as you are also focused on their wants and needs and not your own. This is what God intended for man and wife: two people coming together, both giving strength to the other’s weaknesses.

In the Bible, God does not talk much about divorce—very little, in fact. That is because God does not condone divorce. God is against getting divorced. However, that doesn’t mean God will stop loving you because of it. God wants us to live in joy and peace, not sadness and war. Troubled marriages can be restored if both partners work together to do it. But if one side is unwilling, then it’s better to leave and be in peace.

Matthew 19:8-9 (KJV): “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning, it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

There is much to say about what love really is, and not nearly enough room in a blog to expand on it.

If you are going through a divorce right now, know that God is with you; reach out and call upon God for help and direction. Seek out a pastor or a Christian counselor who can provide guidance and support.

You matter, you are worth it. God cares about you, I may not know you, but I care about you. If your reading this blog right now, it’s because, God has guided you here to read it. This was written for you.

Please don’t try to go through a divorce by yourself. From experience, I tried, I know the emotional pain your going through, and if it were not for God’s intervention, I would have taken my life.

Divorce is very painful, emotionally and mentally. If you would like me to pray for you, just leave me a comment in the comment section of this blog with the simple message, “Please pray for me.” I don’t need to know who are, because God does. I will gladly and lovingly lift you up in prayer.

May God’s unending love cover you in your time of need.