We all need to smile and just lighten up once in a while. Reading jokes or quick humorous statements is a good way to do that.

Here are a few that were often said around our family. My father-in-law always had a funny joke or two. In fact, he told many of them over and over that we assigned a number to them. So instead of hearing the joke again, one of us would just say, “number 22,” and all of us would laugh.

Here are just a few I remember, simply because of how often they were told.

Here we go.

A man and his wife went to their car that was parked under a tree and noticed quite a few bird droppings on it. The man looked over to his wife and said, “I think the birds just bought our car.” The wife looked at her husband dumbfounded. The husband said, “The birds made a deposit on it!”

Do you know why women couldn’t tell a joke looking out the windows? It was always a pane to tell.

After every big family meal, my father-in-law would lean back in his chair, rub his belly, and say, “My only regret is that I have only one stomach to give to this great meal.”

Here’s another one from him. Every once in a while, you would hear him belch. So instead of saying “excuse me,” he would say this: “Hi, ho Silver. Get ’em up, Scout. I opened up my mouth, and a burp popped out,” or, “I’ll bring it up again, and we will vote on it.”

A flower looked up at the tree next to it and noticed the tree had no leaves on its branches and said, “Mr. Tree, did you know your branches are bare?” The tree answered back, “Oh my! And I thought I trunked of everything.”

Here is the last one for now.

A blonde got on a jet from California to New York. She only had a ticket for an economy seat. She boarded the plane and immediately called the flight attendant, saying, “I’m a model and going to New York, and I want to sit in first class.” The flight attendant explained that she had a ticket for economy, not first class. The blonde continued to complain and started to make a scene. The flight attendant, instead of getting mad, went to the pilot and explained what this blonde was doing. The pilot said, “I’ll go back and take care of it.” The pilot made his way back to economy and found the blonde and asked her, “How may I help you today?” The blonde once again said, “I’m a model and going to New York, and I want to sit in first class.” The pilot looked at her ticket, looked back at her, and whispered in her ear. The blonde immediately sat down in her seat in economy. The flight attendant was amazed. She asked the pilot, “What did you whisper to her in her ear that made her sit down in her seat?” The pilot responded, “I just told her that first class didn’t stop in New York!”

Hope you have a wonderful day!